Did you know that this week is National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW)? I’ll venture to say probably not. Infertility certainly isn’t something to celebrate and it’s not often talked about, hence the whole have a week dedicated to raising awareness. NIAW was started to raise awareness, promote advocacy, and help couples cope. The reality is that 1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term. Another staggering statistic is that 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage.
Most likely that 1 in 8 is someone in your immediate circle – your family member, friend, or co-worker. You may or may not know that they are in 1 in 8. Infertility isn’t something that can be fixed with just “relax it will happen” or “don’t stress about it.” Infertility is a medical problem. Approximately 30% is due to female factor and another 30% is due to male factor. The remaining percentage is due to both male and female factors or unexplained.
As you can imagine infertility is challenging emotionally, physically, and financially. Insurance coverage for infertility varies widely and many services go uncovered even though infertility is classified as a disease. The expense to pursue reproductive assisted services can be overwhelming. The average cost of just one IVF cycle is $12,000. That number is daunting and draining for the average American.
Imagine dealing with the financial stress of trying to conceive along with the physical and psycho-social aspects as well. Physically, infertility often leads to many appointments, repeat procedures that can feel intrusive, and medically induced hormone cycles. Ultrasound pictures, pregnancy announcements, and baby showers are emotionally triggering for many who so badly want it to be them announcing or having a shower. Wondering will I have this opportunity and when?
Infertility is hard so I found a guide on how you can support someone who is experiencing infertility and a quick Etsy gift guide.
How Can You Support Someone Who Is Dealing With Infertility?
Here are some helpful tips summarized below on how you can support someone who is dealing with infertility. I found these resources here.
- Learn more about infertility and treatment options.
- This will help prevent common misconceptions about infertility and give you a better overall understanding of what your friend is experiencing.
- Ask them what they need. Someone who is experiencing infertility issues may not reach out for help.
- It doesn’t hurt to ask if they need company to go to appointment, help watching older children or pets, or need an exercise accountability partner.
- Know what to say. You may not know what to say or how to respond. Try these:
- I’m sorry to hear that.
- What can I do to help?
- Do you want to talk about it?
- I’m here to listen, whenever you need me.
- I wish I knew what to say to comfort you.
- I wish there something I could do or say that would make it all better.
- Know what not to say. Things you probably shouldn’t say to someone who is dealing with infertility.
- Suggestions that they should “just relax,” or “just go on vacation, and it’ll happen.”
- Any phrase that starts with “at least.” (As in, “At least you already have one kid,” or, after a miscarriage, “At least you know you can get pregnant.”)
- Any phrase starting with “You can always…” (As in, “You can always do IVF,” or “You can always adopt.”)
- Any statements implying they are “lucky” to be without kids. Yes, pregnancy and parenting aren’t easy, but not everything worth having in life is easy. Not having kids when you want them doesn’t make you lucky.
- Any statement that minimizes the pain they are experiencing, like “It’s not that bad,” or “At least it’s not cancer,” or “One day you’ll look back and laugh at this.”
- Any implication that they just aren’t trying hard enough. Not every couple will want to pursue reproductive interventions.
- Suggestions that they should “just relax,” or “just go on vacation, and it’ll happen.”
- Be an advocate.
- Speak up when you hear common misconceptions.
- Reach out to your local government when it comes to legislature effecting fertility.
- Participate in NIAW.
- Attend or fundraise for an awareness event.
In addition to how you can help support someone here’s another good read on what not to do when supporting an infertile friend.
Infertility Gift Giving Guide
Infertility gifts aren’t exactly lining the shelves at your local stores. I found a few thoughtful infertility gifts on Etsy. Here’s a list and links to some gifts that you can give to someone who is experiencing infertility and let them know you are thinking of them.
- IVF Planner
- Baby Dust Key Chain
- Saint Gerard Necklace
- Infertility Warrior Shirt
- Pineapple Warrior Sign – Proudly created here at Creative Mockingbird
Show Your Support
My hope is that this post encourages you to reach out and support someone dealing with infertility. If you are 1 in 8 I hope this post encourages you to share your story to raise awareness and advocate for yourself. Show your support on social media and let’s all do our part to make #infertilityuncovered.
